Okay, a very fun morning......a trip to the gyno. Why is it, that our yearly check up never gets easier? 50+, 2 kids, yada yada, and no, it never gets any better. You start dreading it about a week before. Then you start thinking, should I call and cancel? Maybe I should just put it off for another week or so...but if you do that, you just have to dread it for another week. No, just go.
Okay, here's my deal (I won't go into details/lucky you) but I have for the past several years gone to a female gyno. But she is a PA to a gyno, so can't do any procedures if you need one. She also had to take some time off to have a baby....how dare she? Anyway, no problem, we can get you in with Dr. T. (I will keep his name out of this). Oh all right, I will go to Dr. T. Well no one told me about Dr. T. If you have watched Grey's Anatomy....Mc Steamy! Not the main guy, the one with the beard....Mc Steamy, not Mc Dreamy. This is who walks into the room.....wait, back up. Take your pants off and put this paper over your legs the Dr. will be in in a minute. Great, is it me, or are those paper things getting smaller and smaller? So now the wait.....trying to stretch the paper around your whole body, as if you need to hide anything? Because in a minute Mc Steamy is going to see it all.....good grief. But still you think, if I can just cover this and that, so when he walks in your big butt won't be hanging out.....then you think, should I take my socks off? No, better not, have not had a pedicure in tooooooo long! Socks? Really? Oh hurry up, where is this guy? Wonder if this old geezer knows anything, where is Dr. L when you need her? La la la....Oh No....In walks..you guessed it, Mc Steamy! You mean he really is a Dr.? I thought he was an actor, no he is a Dr.- MY Dr.! And now ...put your feet in the stir-ups, that's good, now move forward..a little more, a little more.....Lord help me. Okay, don't make eye contact, just meditate, take yourself to Kauai...visualize the beach....as I look up to the ceiling...great, a cut out from a magazine of the beach! Oh yea, like that's going to help....are you kidding? I was almost there, then that stupid picture...right back to reality, now just a little pinch, almost finished.....now, can you raise your arm, we need to to a breast exam........:(
2 comments:
at least some of us enjoyed your embarrassment.
OMG, there should be a law that only ugly men can be GYN's. We can only hope that a model gives colonoscopy's to men! Yep that's me, let's get even.
Post a Comment